After several days of no sleep, too many complimentary cervezas, and watching my buddy win two G’s in the sports book while I lost big, I was down to one dollar. I decided to throw it away and be done with it, but lo and behold, I won. What happened next may be one of the most boneheaded moves in the history of gambling.
But at least I got this set of lyrics out of it, which might work for a talkin’ folk, blues, or country number:
I was in the Flamingo
And I had a buck to blow.
So I stepped out of the sports book
And I took myself a look.
I hit that gaming floor with no idea what to do.
Then I saw this wheel with numbers there like “two.”
I laid my dollar down and spun that wheel around.
Was walking away when I heard that winning sound.
Ten to one were the odds, so now I had a larger bill.
I put that ten on the table for another thrill.
I never thought I’d beat that dealer’s hand.
But I had some luck and them cards I did command.
I won and won and the chips flew in.
And before I knew it I was laughin’.
I couldn’t help but hoot and holler
‘Cause my investment was only a dollar.
That buck grew to hundreds, but still I wanted more.
A smarter and more sober man woulda headed to the door.
But I let it ride like suicide and pushed my chips right in.
There wasn’t much I could do but give in to the sin.
The dealer showed the ace of spades but I only had fourteen.
I tapped my hand, took a card, wouldn’t believe what I seen.
Was a seven, yes a seven, added up to twenty-one.
But my mind was all a blur and I wasn’t just quite done.
I said ‘hit me dealer, hit me now, you know I want a card.’
So what’d that dealer do, he threw down a cowboy hard.
Then he swept up all my chips and they all started laughin’
I just hung my head and cried into a napkin.
Only a man like me could make himself lose
Even with a winning hand.
Only a man like me could not have a clue
And be the laughing stock of the land.
There’s stupid and there’s dumb.
Then there’s hittin’ on a twenty-one.
I guess I’m stupid, guess I’m dumb.
Cause that’s exactly what I done.